Victoria's Secret

Vicki has a secret: He throws like a girl. I call him Vicki for that very reason. We all know he's terrible a throwing out baserunners but at this point it's getting ridiculous. Last night the Texas Rangers stole 9 bases off of the Wakefield/ Martinez battery. Granted Wakefield's fastball is like 68 mph, but that's a record for Fenway Park! Lucky for us it was worse for the Padres in 2000 when the Marlins swiped 10. I wonder how it feels to be Robinson Cano? Since him 29 guys have successfully stolen, but he was the ONLY one Vicki picked off. I mean... that's hilarious given that Vlad was able to jack TWO bases in just a few pitches. Vlad runs like he's got metal legs. I wonder if Mike Lowell could run on Vicki. That dude is slow as shit. I have an idea. Next my brother goes to a Sox game I'm going to have him put me down on first base and then crack open a can of my favorite wet food on second base. I'm gonna run the shit out of Vicki like when I make a break for it outside to eat the grass. Actually maybe I won't even run to second. Maybe I'll just head to the outfield and mow some grass. mmmm.....

Don't look now but Varitek is tearing the cover off the ball! That's what happens when you rest the old guys!