The one meal I love most in this world is breakfast. Everything that humans eat for breakfast I would just mow. My human parents like to eat breakfast for dinner on Tuesdays sometimes and I get so excited. Sometimes i will sit there and put on my cute face and purr. Every now and then CindyMom will sneak me some nomnoms. Bacon is my absolute favorite. I will just chew on bacon all day long, but don't try to give me any of those effin beggin strips. I know the difference. You know what else I love? Corn muffin tops. ohh yes. I will eat the shit out of those and leave the rest. There will be muffin top crumbs stuck in my cat beard and I don't even care. They are that good. I especially love when there is butter on it. People leave their stuff on the kitchen counter and I will sniff that shit out and scavenge the shit out of it. mmmm....
This leads me to the point of this blog post... a few weekends ago my brother came home raving about this breakfast place in Sommerville called SoundBites and their grilled corn bread. He knows how much I love me some corn bread so I guess he wanted to rub it in that it was so good. I bit his nose. Anyway... I was browsing the net for shit to make fun of for you guys and this article came up and I thought it was fitting and hilarious. Literally right next door to Soundbites is this place called Ball Square Cafe which also serves breakfast and I guess the two owners hate each other. They get into frequent verbal and physical arguments. Over breakfast? Yeah.... breakfast is that good. I would scratch the shit out of someone that wanted to steal my bacon. These guys are spitting and throwing punches. I'm gonna go ahead and take the side of the SoundBites dude. I mean... what kind of a douche bag do you have to be to open up a breakfast place next door to another breakfast place that is pretty successful? Can't you just go across the street or maybe down the street a little? I feel like that would be more productive. Like... if you opened up a breakfast shop that was a quarter mile down on the same road then you would have fat humans being all like "OMG I want breakfast but I am too fat to walk to Soundbites. Why don't we just go to this Ball Street Cafe instead? That was I can be fat and not out of breath?" It's kinda like my nephew Rylee. Dude's all like "OMG KITTEH WANS NOMS. WERE IZ MAH NOMSSS?" Then he'll see my effin breakfast and the emeffer will mow that! Do you know why? Because he is fat and he doesn't want to walk all the way over to his food. Effin hate that because then the humans think that I ate it all and then I won't get any more foods. Maybe I should spit on that little bastard just like these two breakfast goons?
No comments:
Post a Comment