A Use For Dogs

Bark4Beer makes the world’s best dog collar: a retractable bottle opener and dog collar in one. That’s right, a bottle opener and dog collar in one. That means, no more searching for a bottle opener around your house, or at a pool party, bbq, or even at the beach — just call over your favorite four-legged friend. Add “fetch me a beer” to your dog’s bag of tricks. Our Bark4Beer dog collar makes a great gift for you, your loved one, fraternity brother, college roommate, hunting friends, tailgate posse and of course your dog. Bring out your inner party animal today.

Finally someone found a use for dogs. I just think dogs are so retarded. Do they even have brains? Like if I'm your cat and you come home from work I'm just gonna lift my head and give a "hey. sup?" You have things you have to do when you come home. Maybe you need a snack. Maybe you need to use the sand box. Maybe you want to change and flop on the couch for a bit. I'll come over to you when I feel it's time. A stupid dog will attack you as soon as you walk in the door and lick your face. Who likes to be licked anyway? That's so dumb. Is there food on your owner, you dumb dog? He probably tastes like sweat and farts from sitting in the car for so long. What's up with dogs that use the sand box all over the floor when you come home? You know what I do when I get excited? I purr and maybe give you a head  butt. I do not pee on your floor. Gross. 

I think this product is hilarious, because you call ol' Fido over and he thinks you're going to give him love and affection but really you just want a beer. haha stupid dog. Go get me a beer. I'm not a fan of beer at all. I'm more of a classy cat, and I choose to drink coffee brandy or Bailey's Irish Cream. This would definitely be an exception. I would drink the shit out of beer if I knew I could make a dog my puppet. If only I could teach a dog how to turn on the water faucet. Hmm... now that's an idea...

Watch this stupid dog...

Bud Light... pfffft. Just proves this dog is dumb.